Dear Maggie —

I have a confession to make.  I’ve been a SMOS parent for 6 years and I’ve never been to your closet! 😬  I know, I know, it seems impossible to have made it this long, but somehow, I’ve just never gotten up there!  I realize that Maggie’s Closet is one of the coolest assets our school has to offer parents, but I only ever think about going when I’m in the shower or lying in bed thinking of all the things I should do the next day.  Then like all my other good intentions, I completely forget about them first thing the next morning.  Now that I’ve got a tween who’s growing like a weed, it feels like he needs a new uniform every week!  The 90’s fashion may be making a comeback, but midriffs on 5th grade boys wasn’t – and will never be – cool!  I can’t afford to buy new uniforms that often AND feed the bottomless pit that he is, so my bank account could use a break!  I am determined to find my way to your elusive closet, the problem is I honestly don’t know where to being.  I understand it’s in the school somewhere, but that’s about all I know.  I would ask the other 5th grade moms, but after this many years, it feels too embarrassing.  It’s kind of like how I have no idea what Emma F’s mom’s name is… I saved her as “Emma’s mom” in my phone back in kindergarten, and then never actually figured out her name.  I would LOVE to stop calling her “Lady” sooooo, if you could ALSO find out her name that would be great!  Well, now that I’ve revealed that I’m pretty much oblivious to many things around me, please clue me in to where I need to go. 

— Clueless Cate

Dear Clueless —

After reading your email, I couldn’t help but think that I should rewrite that incredibly catchy tune about Victoria’s Secret that’s incessantly playing on the radio.  Here’ my version:

I know Maggie’s secret,
And, Dragons, you wouldn’t believe.
She’s an old ghost who lives in a bellfry,
Saving money for folks like me.
Cashin’ in on clothing issues,
Mendin’ skirts and pants and shirts too.
I know Maggie’s secret…
Uniforms free for your brood (brood),
A uniform is waiting for your brood (brood),
A uniform is waiting for your brood.

I rewrote the entire song but I’ll spare you the rest! 

My closet is really one of my favorite things at SMOS, but it’s certainly not intended to be elusive at all!  I hate when I hear that someone either doesn’t know about it or where it is – so I’m happy to clear up any confusion! 

I will first explain how to get to Maggie’s Closet – because if you can’t find it, you can’t appreciate all the other things I’m about to tell you about the closet next!  While it’s not an exclusive club, you will still need a key, which you can get from Mrs. Shearer at the front desk.  She’ll hand you an enormous wooden rod (think gas station bathroom key chain!) with a tiny key attached to the end.  Once you’ve got that, you’re ready to begin your adventure into the whimsical world of Maggie’s Closet.  You will walk through the gym doors and take an immediate left, walk toward the hall that leads to the restroom, you’ll then see 2 more doors (again on your left).  Go through the 2nd door, which will lead you to Narnia a staircase; I will warn you, it will feel like you’re going the wrong way (kind of like down a dark alley), but I assure you, you are not.  At the top of these stairs, there is a sign for the PTA Closet/Maggie’s Closet; the door will be on your right, you’ll unlock it, and then youre ready to shop til you drop… FOR FREE! (No wonder no one can find it – just writing out those directions, now I’m confused!?!)

I was floating around in the closet last nigh,t and it’s bursting at the seams!  Diana Mabry and Courtney Armstrong have practically turned that place into The Gap; they have Marie Kondo-ed that room, and it’s amazing.  Everything is organized by size and gender, and there are even new sections for specialty sizes like husky and tall – so there’s something up there for every dragon.  There are also several t-shirts that can be worn each Friday for Spirit Day.  Diana was also kind enough to have purchased extra gym uniforms for kids to borrow on days when they forget theirs.  (Just make sure you wash it and have them return it ASAP, we want all the forgetful dragons to be able to benefit from her generosity.)  If you have used SMOS stuff laying around, bring it over to donate back to the closet – and here’s one more cool part… whatever is not useable, gets recycled (literally turned back into useable fibers!) by St. Vincent de Paul thrift stores.

With the weather changing, this is the perfect time to get up there – your growing boy will need pants and a fleece before we know it.  Now that I have outfitted you with directions, head on up those stairs and see all that the closet has to offer! 

Oh!  And about that mom… Her name is Lauren, and she is a delight!

— Maggie