Dear Maggie —
I know this column is usually reserved for parent questions, but I’m desperate – and desperate times call for desperate measures! It’s me, Jen, from the front desk, and I’m currently dealing with what could only be described as an avalanche of items in the Lost and Found. I am wading through about 3 feet of unclaimed hoodies and lunch boxes, there’s even a single shoe (how does that even happen?!?) just to get to my office. It’s starting to look like an episode of Hoarders over here. Don’t even get me started on what that countertop has acquired this week during Catholic Schools Week with all of it’s dress-up days 🫣. I love this week and all the fun it brings, but I could do without all the “leftovers”, if you know what I mean. On top of that, I have a love/hate relationship with FACTS since I know that only about 3% of the emails I send actually get read. So, I am going to save myself the heartache of composing an email that will just get ignored and going straight to the powers that be – you! I know people listen to you so can you PLEASE, PLEASE, PRETTY PLEASE tell everyone to come get their stuff before it becomes someone else’s stuff?
— Shear(er) Madness
Dear Shear(er)–
It’s so nice to hear from a familiar face! As I said last week, I LOVE Catholic Schools Week, but in all honesty, I didn’t always feel that way – so I can feel your pain. I can assure you that trying to help 8 kids dress up as their favorite saint on a Wednesday morning was not for the faint of heart! That act alone may be how I achieved Sainthood. They even did Decades Day back then too and I’m sure this will come as a surprise to no one, but the Dark Ages didn’t exactly lend itself well to kid’s costumes. I don’t even want to think about how many 80’s sweatbands and 90’s chokers will make their way to the Lost and Found at some point today 😬. I have to give props to the mom I overheard at drop-off this morning talking about how yesterday she just let her kids wear regular clothes and slapped a nametag of whatever Saint came to mind and called it a day. I saw those same kids this morning and when asked what decade they chose the youngest said “This one… it was our mom’s idea!” 🤣 #ILikeHerStyle
I will say – I had noticed that mess of a Lost and Found pile, but didn’t want to mention it out of fear of sounding judgy… that’s not really my thing (today). Anyway, so here’s the announcement party-people… yes PLEASE, PLEASE, PRETTY PLEASE come get your stuff! I know that in years past, Jen and Chris have used the end of semesters or trimesters as a good marker for when to send all the orphaned items out to pasture. This means you have exactly 19 days to claim one of the 486 water bottles or the 73 gloves (yes, that’s an odd number!). We all know that no child has ever lost both gloves, only one at a time, ALWAYS! Tuesday, Feb 20th marks the end of the trimester which means that’s precisely when everything will be sent off to St Vincent de Paul.
So, come take a look and see if anything there belongs to your precious angels or maybe there isn’t anything that belongs to your kids but it fits your kids, take it! I think at this point Jen really doesn’t care how the pile gets thinned out. I kid, I kid, kind of… think of it as the lazy man’s Maggie’s Closet for those who don’t want to walk all the way up the stairs to the real thing!😜 I know one woman who has waited until Chris started to load everything into her trunk and “went shopping for next year’s coats” for her kids since everything was going to be donated anyway. She then turned to her kids and said “if some kid on the blacktop tells you this is their coat, you have to give it to them!” I can’t be totally sure… but I’m pretty sure it was the nametag lady I told you about earlier.
If you have already cut your losses and assumed you were never going to see that Patagonia you bought in the fall, or are hellbent on teaching little Johnny some natural consequences for not keeping track of his own stuff; consider it a donation. The SVdP thanks you!
Jen, you keep doing the Lord’s work! You are proof that not all heroes wear capes, but if you happen to find one in the Lost & Found pile, feel free to keep it; you’ve earned it!
— Maggie