Dear Maggie —

I am writing with more of a suggestion than a question today. There’s a woman who could really benefit from someone serenading her with Taylor Swift’s song “You Need to Calm Down”; I know you’re a huge Swiftie, so you seem like the perfect candidate for the job. The woman who runs the Library Holiday Market has ZERO chill and is borderline obsessed with this market. She’s even started asking to put signs in people’s yards; sounds more like a lobbyist than a librarian to me. I know the library is a pivotal part of the school but I don’t really understand why she thinks people want to come buy used children’s books out of a school gym on a Friday night?! Honestly, considering she runs A LIBRARY you’d think she’d be fully aware that you can get pretty much any book you want for free from. a. library. #WhosGoingToTellHer  I’m sure she’s a lovely lady, but maybe someone should break the news to her that people may not be banging down the doors to get into this event. 

— Bubble-Bursting Bev

Dear Bubble-Busting —

I hate to burst your bubble, but I think you may have gotten some bad intel about the Holiday Market. You’ve got one thing wrong, and one thing right here – the Holiday Market doesn’t sell children’s books, but you are correct, that chick does, in fact, have ZERO chill!  I’ve heard her squeal with glee over the arrival of the new Guinness Book of World Records books. She loves books, what can I say… also, I think she’s pretty clear on how libraries work. 😜 

As far as the Holiday Market goes, let me clear some things up.  The Market doesn’t sell old library books; it’s an event where 22 different vendors are invited to set up a booth where they sell their products. Think of it as a brick-and-mortar Etsy shop – the vendors sell things like candles, Christmas ornaments, St. Louis apparel, handmade stationery, skincare, and jewelry… and there’s even going to be tiramisu!  Oh, and there will be books (*she says as she looks around sheepishly).  Betty’s Books will have a booth where they will have a great variety of books to purchase, but also a selection set aside by none other than No Chill MaGoo –  if purchased will go straight to the library!  Think of all the happiness you’ll bring to all those little Dragons when they see the shiny new Wings of Fire graphic novels on the shelves! #DoItForTheKids

A little coo coo birdie told me that in addition to all the local vendors, there will be a specialty cocktail, wine, pretzels from Pretzel Boys, and a wide assortment of treats made by the famous SMOS bakers all for sale.  Enjoy all of this while admiring the fact that the library team and their volunteers turned our school gym into a winter wonderland adorned with twinkle lights and enough Christmas cheer to make you want to barf!  Now, if that wasn’t the pitch of a lifetime I don’t know what is!  So hop to it and do us all a favor by purchasing your tickets now to ensure that Kooky Kitty over there won’t have to stoop too low to beg everyone to buy tickets to the market. I personally don’t know if I can handle any more yard signs.  Maybe she will even stop harassing folks on the internet! #IWouldntHoldYourBreath  Happy shopping and I’ll see you there! 😉

— Maggie