Dear Maggie —

In light of recent events, I have been contemplating a possible relocation of sorts; if you know what I mean. I’m going to keep my question short and sweet because I haven’t slept in a few days so I’m using my lunch break to email you and I want to try and squeeze in a nap too. I figured you might be able to help me figure out if becoming a Scottish citizen before January is a possibility for me and my family. You’re my only international friend, so please give me any tips you may have on getting a VISA.  Mar sin leat! (That’s what Google tells me the Scottish say for goodbye. 🤷🏽‍♀️)

— Soon-to-be-Siobhan

Dear Soon —

I appreciate you taking a minute to shoot me an email – you sound tired. I really hope you got that nap girl!  Strange that you ask me this today because, among many other Google search alerts, I have “Scottish citizenship application” as one of mine and have seen a huge uptick in searches for that.  I haven’t lived in Scotland for many many moons, and you don’t really need to apply for a VISA when you’re dead.  Apparently, they don’t really care where you go once you’re no longer paying taxes. #WhoKnew  So, unfortunately, I don’t have any tips for you BUT if you’re looking to get a taste of what it might be like to live in Scotland, you could always check out the Feast On Flad. That’s our parish’s annual feast day celebration for me, St. Margaret of Scotland!  All school families – parishioners or not – are welcome to join in the festivities!

Coincidentally 😉, the Feast on Flad is happening on November 16th!  It’s an absolute blast celebrating an absolutely fabulous lady parish.  This year the entire event will be held outdoors, so be sure to check the weather before you come.  I would get your tickets soon though because the deadline for purchasing meal tickets is next Tuesday, Nov 12th (and prices go up after tomorrow!).  Don’t worry though, if you’re like me and already dreading all the pending holiday costs coming your way; you can still come to the event even if you don’t purchase the meal. Feel free to bring your own picnic dinner, don’t forget a chair or blanket to sit on though! While you do need a ticket to get the delicious Steve’s Hot Dogs, the drinks are on us – this is an event for Catholics after all!  (But you’re always welcome to BYO too – you do you.)

All this talk about needing a nap has got me all sleepy now, so I’m going to cut my column short… but not before I hit you with a few more fun facts about Feast on Flad (bullet point edition):

• The Middle School Choir will be joining the award-winning SMOS Music Ministry at the 4:30 PM Mass.
• Anyone who received a sacrament last year will be able to join the procession into Church.
• And last but certainly NOT least… there’s a Scotch tasting that will be available to all who attend the celebration after Mass.  (There are other activities and treats too – but I stopped listening after I heard “Scotch”.)

So, Soon-to-be-Siobhan, don’t submit your application for Scottish citizenship just yet.  Come test the waters at Feast On Flad and then decide if you’re going to be sporting plaid from here on out.  If you do plan to head across international waters, we will miss you and my inbox is always open!

— Maggie