Dear Maggie —
My oldest is in 2nd grade this year, and all he keeps talking about is something called “Zombie Museum,” and he is P-U-M-P-E-D to participate next year when he’s in 3rd grade. The way he explains it, everyone picks a dead person to talk about, then you get to dress up like them and walk around like a zombie all day at school.
Now, I’m no educator, but I feel like I’m missing a few details here! Don’t get me wrong — it sounds intriguing — but I have my doubts that this is the entire premise for an event at SMOS. Like I always say… It’s clear as mud.
Anywho, can you help me wade through these murky details and give me the accurate scoop? Also… you’re dead, right? So will you be there??
— Muddled Mel
Dear Muddled –
Hmmm… this one had me stumped for a moment. But I think what your sweet little Johnny is referring to is the Living Museum, not the Zombie Museum… although, if I’m being honest, it’s also not NOT the Zombie Museum 🧟🤣 The kid might be onto something; I fully support him pitching a name change when he hits 3rd Grade next year.
For those who haven’t experienced this SMOS rite of passage, the Living Museum is a long-standing St. Margaret of Scotland tradition. Each 3rd grader chooses a historically significant (not necessarily dead) person to research and learn about. These kids pick everyone from Abraham Lincoln to Dolly Parton — and occasionally someone delightfully unexpected.
My personal favorite from years past was Lonnie Johnson — the brilliant mind behind the Super Soaker. Fascinating life story, and responsible for some of the greatest backyard chaos of the 1990s.
After several weeks of research, the students come to school dressed as their chosen historical figure and deliver a quick little “elevator speech” about them. Teachers place a red dot sticker on their hands, and when museum-goers press the “button,” the student springs to life and tells the story of their person. It’s equal parts educational, adorable, and mildly chaotic.
Little Johnny is probably hearing a lot about it because the big day is right around the corner. Next Tuesday, students from every grade will visit the gym and cafeteria to hear the presentations. Then that evening, from 6–7 PM, the 3rd graders present again for parents and grandparents who couldn’t attend during the school day. It is, without question, the highlight of 3rd grade.
Now, while we’re discussing traditions, let me mention another long-standing one: these little oblivious darling 3rd graders never picking me for the Living Museum. #ThanksForRubbingItIn #IAmSusanLucchi
That’s right. We are currently on something like a 15-year drought without a single student choosing Saint Margaret of Scotland.
You’d think it would be the obvious choice! My name is plastered on the buildings, they say it about fifty times a day, and there are roughly fifteen statues of me on campus (personally, I feel that number could be higher). And yet… nothing.
So to answer your question: No, I will not be there. Not in spirit. Not in costume. Not even lurking dramatically in a corner.
Anyway, I’ll be sulking lounging in my lair next week. But maybe — just maybe — I’ll wander down to the Living Museum to see if any of these forgetful fine students at least picked some respectable runner-up historical figures this year. Maybe one of my saintly friends. We’ll see.
And if someone eventually picks me?
Well… let’s just say that exhibit will be to die for. 😏
— Maggie
