Dear Maggie –
I’m not writing with so much of a question as I am a clarification. I am new-ish to the PTA, and by “new-ish” I mean that I attended the first PTA meeting of the school year and then not a single one after that for three straight years! BUT this year I’m all in. I already attended the first meeting and am planning to be at the second, so that’s a pretty impressive advancement from the last three years! AND I have taken on the very important role of coordinating the End of Year Picnic. (I guess showing up more than once at the PTA automatically qualifies me for a Committee Chair position! You’ve been warned.)
Here’s where the “clarification” comes into play: At the first — and, obviously, my favorite — PTA meeting, the agenda listed a Back to School Picnic. I initially panicked, thinking I had somehow misunderstood the task I had taken on – and, more importantly, when that was supposed to take place. But then, keeping with new me 2.0 and being all-in, I decided I was ready to throw together a banger of a picnic in two weeks. We would rally the troops! We would pull it all together! We would make it happen! Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!
Thankfully, while sitting silently at a cafeteria table and conjuring up images of Admiral Farragut and me leading the charge – and internally freaking out about how on earth I was going to plan an entire picnic in two weeks – someone informed me that it was all a mistake. The Back to School Picnic had actually been switched to the End of Year Picnic a few years ago, and was just listed wrong on the agenda.
Praise be. 🙏 Sorry, Farragut – you’re on your own!
So luckily, I still have approximately nine months to plan the banger I’ve already got living rent-free in my head.
In conclusion, I thought it might be worth mentioning in case anyone else missed the memo: don’t look for a Back to School Picnic, but gird your loins for that End of Year Picnic, because I’ve got some IDEAS and it’s going to blow your socks off!
— Starting Ending With A Bang Sara
Dear Starting Ending With A Bang –
First of all, I really appreciate your willingness to drop everything and plan an entire school picnic with two weeks’ notice. Girl, that’s some real PTA dedication. Frankly, that kind of panic-fueled commitment is exactly what keeps this place running. (Plus, I hear you on that whole volun-chaired thing – it’s real, and you need to be careful what you raise your hand for, lest you want to run it as well.)
And yes, you are correct: the Back to School Picnic was rebranded a few years ago, when Fr. John suggested an early Fall parish-wide event. However! In the absence of the lowly BTS Picnic, we now have Mass in the Grass + Parish & School Picnic, which is, in my humble opinion, one of the hottest — literally and figuratively — events of the school year. So, in theory, there still is a picnic for the school community at the beginning of the school year – it’s just gotten a glow-up.
In case you missed it in the newsletter, this year’s Mass in the Grass + Parish & School Picnic will be September 13th at 10 AM, and per usual, it’ll be back at the Stone Shelter Pavilion, which is excellent news because the creek is right nearby. So when your children inevitably spend the morning behaving like feral little heathens, at least we’ll have a convenient water source for an emergency baptism. Thank you very much. 💦✝️ (I can’t promise it’s holy water, but there is definitely something “otherworldly” flowing along those banks.)
Each year, our parish and school gather all the camping chairs and blankets, have all the pep talks with our children about how “we may be outside, but we’re still celebrating Mass,” and then stand in line for 45 minutes to get a burger or hot dog while the children run amok (and raid the dessert table) for a few hours on a fine Sunday morning. This year will be more the merrier, because our friends from St. Pius (where Fr. John is now additionally pastor) will be joining us as well!
Funny little side note – Fr. John actually started the Mass in the Grass many years ago when he was originally pastor at St. Pius. They held it for many years until he left for another assignment. So, it’s nice to see the event return to its roots.
Funnier little side note – Fr. John was not the original on this one. When I was Queen, the Bishop of Scots — a man called Fothad I (as opposed to his brother, Fathead III 😁) — started holding a Meet in the Peat to bring the families together for Mass and a picnic. Originally, it was called Slog in the Bog, but the setting was not nearly as nice as Tower Grove Park, and after a rival clan came over and started a ruckus, the whole thing was revamped and a friendlier name and event were born. We did this for many years — and since it was held in a field, we like to think we invented the concept of “farm to table”. You’re welcome, America!
Anyway, back to TGP – seeing that I have attended every Mass in the Grass, I’ve got some tips:
1. Start taking your probiotics now! It takes a strong gut to consume one serving of each of the 54 mayonnaise-based side dishes that will be sitting in the hot sun for several hours. Potato salad, pasta salad, coleslaw… I don’t know who keeps bringing these things, but I admire their commitment to danger.
2. Bug spray! Just trust me on this one. The mosquitoes of Tower Grove Park are not Catholic. They do not respect the sanctity of the Sabbath.
3. Lower your standards! I have never known kids to understand the need for the same level of reverence in Tower Grove Park as in church. Yes, we will remind them that this is Mass. Yes, we will ask them to sit still. Yes, they will immediately begin chasing a squirrel. Honestly, I’ve seen adults do worse during the Sign of Peace.
4. Dress appropriately. This is not the day to debut your new Sunday best unless you want to spend the rest of the day explaining why your child baptized your dress in ketchup.
5. Hydrate. Jesus turned water into wine. You should turn water into water, because unlike Jesus, you have to chase a six-year-old around Tower Grove Park afterward.
And Sara? You’ve got nine months to make that End of Year Picnic a banger. No pressure. But I’ll be watching. 👀 I can’t wait to see what you come up with now that you have 39 more weeks to work on this! At this point, I fully expect a petting zoo, a fireworks display, and someone named Todd making artisanal lemonade. Don’t disappoint me.
– Maggie
P.S. Don’t forget to RSVP by the deadline next week. Because nothing says “family picnic” like your child sobbing into an empty paper plate while everyone else is eating their hot dog. You’ve been warned.
